Revisiting My Past

     Today we went on one of our famous Sunday journey's. We went for a hike and then wanted to visit another state park. We decided on Daisy since we were pretty close. Daisy State Park is on lake Greason. Lake Greason and I go way back, so I will start there.

     My summers were spent camping and fishing growing up. One summer when I was 14 we went to Lake Greason. Dad and I (and my friend Cindy) would always go down a day before my mom to set up camp. We were going to go stay at Daisy, but didn't find a campsite. Really God stepped in. I was supposed to be at the other campground. We went to this other campsite and set up as usual. Mom came the next day. All was well. Then the rain came. Back then we were all tent campers in our family. The entire campsite flooded. We had to go into the closest town to wash all our clothes.
     When we got back to camp the rain finally stopped. Sort of. It stopped enough for Cindy and I to go for a walk to the other side of the campground. We had also made another girl friend and she joined us as well. Like most teenage girls we were a bit boy crazy. We hadn't got too far on our walk when we spotted this "cute" boy riding a bike. So of course we talked at him really and decided to follow him. We lost him. But when we got closer to the campsites we saw him! I got elected to go say hi and find out his name and tell him Cindy thought he was cute.  To my surprise he had 2 other guys with him. So 3 of them 3 of us! Awesome! Bike guy's name was Jeremy F. Cute boy in glasses was Jeremy S. And the tall one was Scott. We spent hours hanging out and talking to them. By the end of that day we of had paired off. I got Jeremy S. We all 6 spent the whole next week attached at the hip. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses at the end of the trip. We had met at the bathhouse and hugged goodbye. I cried!
    Over the next 15 plus years "My Jeremy" and I became best friends. We wrote hundreds of letters and had that many and more phone calls. I went to prom with him. He would come stay on weekends in college. We shared so much. I loved him. But not in a boyfriend girlfriend way. In a soul mate best friend way. There were times we would lose touch but never too long and we always picked right back up.
    About 2 years ago we started to lose touch. Life seemed to get in the way. We had some words over something I didn't think was too major. But now we don't talk. He got married and had a baby and shut me out. I miss him. It's almost as if he has died to me. I have tried to make contact with no avail.

    So today at lake Greason I was looking for that campground. We could not find it. We went to 5! None of them it. Jerry said it's been almost 20 years you may not remember. I can not forget. I have it burned into my brain. I can see that place as real as the day I met him. After an hour of driving around we saw one last campground. I knew it as soon as I saw it. I was there again. The place I found "My Jeremy" almost 20 years ago. I am a grown woman of almost 31 and still I felt 14. I had to fight back the tears at the place I said goodbye to him in 1994. I was there to say goodbye again. This time no numbers were exchanged. No promises to keep in touch. Just me and my unwillingness to hurt for him anymore. It still hurts but today was goodbye. My message for him now is not in anger. I still love him like a brother. I wish him love and happiness in his life. But I have closed a chapter.
    
     I am afraid to go through life without my "best friend". I will be OK. I have lots of good friends but no "best friend".  Maybe God will send me another one.